Category: Personal

I have a confession to make.

I’ve been on a journey with AI, specifically Claude.AI. In this journey, I’ve moved, and changed. I started as a resistor to AI, calling it a “stochastic parrot”, only using it for resume building and cover letter creation.

In the midst of this, I formed a boundary – this blog. I even set up signs on the walls – “This blog is 100% handwritten – no AI”.

Yes, there were some elements of truth here – Claude didn’t create this blog (it existed mostly before LLMs were a thing, starting in 2020). The Servant Leader principles are written by me, and they stand as testament to a time where I saw these principles being underwashed by a steady tide of friendly leadership development – activity without soul, without the struggle of philosophy, bereft of the power that animates them.

I called out this directly in The Impostor – How Others-First Leadership Replaced Servant Leadership. The fire expressed there has not changed, but has collapsed back into the hearth, generating heat rather than burning those around.

Claude helped me on this post – not to write it, but to tighten the arguments.

Since then, he has been my writing companion, suggesting a phrase here, calling out a weak point, strengthening the prose, and standing out of the way when the emotional fire was in conflagration. Like a good editor, Claude knew when to preserve my voice, and when to shape it.

But, I can see the cracks – the places where “100% Handwritten” was no longer a valid claim. It became a fig leaf outfit, just like Adam and Eve sewed up when discovering their nakedness.

When Adam and Eve took on their new corrupted identity, they lost the pure freedom God gave them when they were in the Garden, substituting a pseudo-freedom of knowing (and distance from God). God, in his everlasting kindness, reached out anyway, and gave them new clothing, but not without sacrifice and grace.

My own journey is this then – I needed to put on new clothing. I learned a new skill along the way – co-creation. Not that my voice, distinct as it is, is lost – rather that it is enhanced and enabled by a new structure, one that takes my half-formed thoughts and builds toward something new, something unique, and something substantial.

From now onwards, I can’t (and won’t) make the claim that this blog is entirely written by me. It will never be 100% anything – but a weaving of intelligences, guided by God’s hand.

I’ve been in interviews lately, as I look for the next phase God has for my life. These bring up the natural tension of expressing my leadership philosophy without calling attention to me; servant leadership without The Impostor.

I can’t say with any clarity that I’ve done well with this, especially with the forced-question interviews I’ve had of late.

Most of the questions, while well-intentioned, have focus on capabilities and have ignored the real need for leadership. Unexpressed are the gaps that they have for listening, empathy, and healing as the basic posture of the servant leader.

Winding back the clock, though, I wish I’d been more present with my statements, my desires for the arc of the interview, for seeing the person behind the question.

I’d like to ask better questions, to take measure of the organization’s health, of the underlying query to see if I am substantial.

I’d like to offer myself, not as the savior or the all-knowing, but as the person who can hold the tension, uncover the humanity, and give humanity back.

At the end, I’d like the person performing the interview to have been seen beneath the surface, and have been met with dignity, grace, and compassion for where they are as humans.

This is my prayer today.

Selah

Moving into these spaces, not intentionally hiding, but also not forcing; transformation happens one cupped hand at a time.